I gave up trying to find love in 2009 after a lifetime of rejection and head games. I was happy and comfortable being alone for the past 10 years, but I recently went through a stressful situation, and it awoke an emptiness inside me. The stress has faded, but loneliness has taken over where content use to be. I decided to write about all my experiences with women, in order to 1: Remind myself why I gave up 10 years ago, and 2: I'm desperate to get rid of this pain, and writing tends to help.
Thursday, May 16, 2019
Blythe (2002) Age 21
I only knew Blythe for a few weeks, but I had a big crush on her. I met her through my friend Jeremy, who was another friend of mine who could get laid like it was nothing. Whenever we hung out, I would pick her up and we would drive around and hang out in parking lots, or shopping centers, or Jeremy's house. After a few weeks hanging out, I wasn't getting any vibes that she was into me, but I told her I liked her anyway. She said she "Wasn't sure" how she felt, and we continued hanging out as if I never said it. About a week later, she asks me to drive her to a friends house so we can watch some new movie. We get there and this guy comes out of the house and she walks up and hugs him, and we all go inside. He puts on the TV and him and Blythe leave me in the room by myself. I start feeling really uncomfortable as time goes on, 10 minutes, then 20 minutes...I must have sat there watching shitty TV for a half hour or so alone. She comes back and says his mom is kicking us out cause hes not allowed to have people over. I didn't see or hear anyone else, but who knows, I was more upset thinking about what they were doing for all that time, and how she used me for a ride and left me alone in this strangers house. I dropped her off and was pretty much done with her at that point...a few days later I went over Jeremy's to hang out, and it was normal to just walk in and go up to his room without knocking or anything. I opened the door to his room and him and Blythe were hooking up, I just walked back out and went home. Not long after that I stopped talking to Jeremy, mostly because he was always with some girl and I was just sitting there as a 3rd wheel, it was really annoying.
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