I gave up trying to find love in 2009 after a lifetime of rejection and head games. I was happy and comfortable being alone for the past 10 years, but I recently went through a stressful situation, and it awoke an emptiness inside me. The stress has faded, but loneliness has taken over where content use to be. I decided to write about all my experiences with women, in order to 1: Remind myself why I gave up 10 years ago, and 2: I'm desperate to get rid of this pain, and writing tends to help.
Thursday, May 16, 2019
Stephanie 1 (1994/1995) Age 13-14
She was dating another friend of mine at the time, and was part of a pretty big circle of friends I had. Well they broke up and me and Stephanie became good friends. I had a little bit of a crush on her, but kept it to myself. Just didn't want to bother with it, we were both single and friends and I was happy with things that way. We hung out a lot and went through a lot together, after about a year of hanging out and getting close, she met this guy, and stopped talking to me. One day I got a hold of her, and asked her what was up, and she told me her boyfriend didn't want her talking to me. I guess she must have spoke of me too much or maybe he just told her not to talk to any guys. I lost a friend and went through a pretty hard depression, all because some guy thought he owned her. I never spoke to her again, I think she moved at some point. The worst part is, that guy ended up being one of my brothers friends years later, and every time I saw him I felt sick.
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